i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
