I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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