I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
