I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
