8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
okay pat passed out under dana's car
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
