Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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