Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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