We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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