5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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