Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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