New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
