the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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