She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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