some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
