doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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