i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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