Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
