I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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