she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
