Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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