Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
