i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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