well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
