My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
