theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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