do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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