she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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