You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
