i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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