Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
