i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
