I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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