i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
