Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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