I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
