So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We are all done wearing pants today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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