i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
