Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
