He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
