its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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