question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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