Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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