I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
