I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
