I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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