So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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