I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
