I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
