were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
