Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
