come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
